


Drill It In My Brain.

by iwritestony



Series: Radiosurgery [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Self-Doubt, Song fic, Stiles is an idiot, derek is a moron, they're both in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 22:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1178591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwritestony/pseuds/iwritestony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You keep bring me down cause you know I let you, drill it in my brain so I wont forget you. Hold you back when I don't deserve you, I'm wanting you more, the more I know you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drill It In My Brain.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvhpMEEXCUg

As the sunlight filtered through the blonds on Derek’s window, the werewolf couldn’t help but admire the shapes it created on Stiles’ skin. The younger man always slept later than Derek, who rarely slept for longer than a few hours at best.

Stiles slept like he did anything else, like his whole life depended on it. His limbs were a tangle of bony elbows and sharp lines. It took Derek forever to get used to how much room the other took up despite his size.

It was easy to reach over and drag human fingers down pale flesh, Stiles wouldn’t wake for anything less than a freight train on mornings like this. It left Derek with a lot of time to just sit back and adore the man beside him. Every day Derek thanked his lucky starts that he’d somehow managed to snag someone that wasn’t only smart, or funny, attractive or kind; but that he was so absolutely perfect for Derek it almost seemed unreal.

Sometimes that thought got to Derek, and he couldn’t be blamed with the amount of bad ex’s the man had, how could he ever think he’d be so lucky? The thoughts usually led Derek to wondering what secrets Stiles was hiding? Which ended with Derek feeling incredible guilty as he dragged a warm palm down Stiles’ back.

Stiles couldn’t keep a secret if he wanted to. It was rude for Derek to think he would be. But even worse than that he knew if he ever asked, Stiles wouldn’t get mad. He knew Stiles would understand Derek was just looking after his heart and as Derek tried to apologize for the stupid question, Stiles would grab his face and assure him over and over that it was okay, and that he wasn’t mad.

The real issue was that Derek could never believe, after everything he’d done, everything he’d been through, that he could ever deserve someone as good as Stiles. He awaited the day where something came along and took Stiles from him, be it supernatural creature, or Stiles’ own realization that he could do so much better than a broken down, grumpy werewolf like Derek.

Once again, Derek’s mind was getting away from him, and this time he couldn’t bring it back. No amount of unreturned kisses to Stiles’ sleeping frame could remind Derek that he wasn’t holding Stiles hostage, the guy was with Derek by choice.

Derek was starting to feel overwhelmed and upset, so he pulled himself out of the equation, something Stiles had taught him. ‘If something is causing grief, step away from the issue, clear your head, and then make a decision. Gets me out of the stickiest of situations.’ 

Getting out of that warm bed felt more like a punishment than Derek had hoped. Stiles didn’t stir as Derek pulled his pants and shoes on, foregoing a shirt for his brisk morning run in the woods. On the pillow beside Stiles’ head, Derek left a note.

With one last kiss to Stiles’ forehead, Derek headed out of the house. A run always helped him clear his darker thoughts, especially the ones where Derek considered breaking up with Stiles over some ridiculously unwarranted self-doubt.

~

It wasn’t long after Derek left the place that Stiles was waking up alone. There was a moment as Stiles reached over to pull Derek in; he especially liked to cuddle in the morning when he’d just woken up. Unfortunately all Stiles found was an empty bed beside him, sheets cold from disuse.

Stiles shivered, pulling the blankets closer as he cracked open his eyes to find the folded piece of paper beside his head. Immediately his heartbeat doubled. This was it, Derek had finally left him. This was the note telling Stiles to pack his things and get out once and for all.

Derek wasn’t the only one with self-doubts. Stiles had a barrel full, and he was just waiting for the day when Derek would wake up and realize he was wasting his time on someone who was just holding him back. Stiles was nothing more than an ADHD ridden kid, who never shut up, and always got into trouble. 

It was no secret that Derek was beautiful, he could have anyone he wanted. And despite the years Stiles spent worming his way into Derek’s heart, he knew he could be replaced just as easily. He was holding him back from his full potential. Derek could be a powerful alpha without him; he could have a new pack, someone who would accept his offer of The Bite, someone who could be his proper werewolf mate, not some boy in wolf’s clothing. He knew Derek would worry less if he’d just turn, instead of remaining a fragile, breakable human.

It wasn’t like Stiles could ever bring these doubts to Derek’s attention. The man would just spend the next three days trying to convince Stiles that he was perfect just the way he was. It would kill Stiles with guilt, and just confirm his fear that he wasn’t good enough.

Stiles winced as he reached for the paper. He turned it over in his hands once or twice hesitantly. He’d have to read it eventually, but why couldn’t Derek just stick around and tell him in person?

Because he was just as emotionally stunted as Stiles was when it came to affairs of the heart. ‘Now or never’ Stiles decided inwardly, sitting up in bed, blankets falling to his waist as he unfolded the paper carefully. 

He held his breath as eyes dragged over the messy scrawl. As he came to the end of the note, Stiles let out a sigh of relief, anxiety seeping out with it. How could he have ever thought Derek would do that like him?

‘Stiles,  
Got up early for a run. Text when you’re awake, we’ll grab breakfast.  
-Derek’

After laughing at his own stupidity for a while, he reached across to Derek’s side of the bed, grabbing his phone from the nightstand and sent Derek a less-than-three text. 

“You’re awake,” Derek sent back, his morning run put on hold the moment he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

“Get your werewolf ass back here. You promised me breakfast, and I believe I owe you a shower ;).”

Derek’s eyebrows shot up, message received loud and clear; Derek pocketed his phone right away and turned on his heel to head back to the house. How he could ever have thought Stiles wasn’t perfect for him was lost to the wind as he bolted as fast as he could.

There was no one else in the world that could ever complete him like Stiles did.


End file.
